Living with a twice-exceptional child is challenging enough during “normal” times, but those of us who’ve been blessed with these kids already know there’s no such thing as normal — and who would want that, anyway? Recent school closures have presented yet another challenge to normalcy and, like many others, my family is navigating the ups and downs of attending school from home.
Some of the things our kids have in common are sensory issues such as sensitivity to sounds, lights, foods, and textures. Issues like anxiety, depression, and attentional issues are also common. Factors like these can be linked to an environment, and for most of their lives, when they aren’t at home, it’s difficult for them to control their environment.
One of the silver linings of having to do school from home during shelter-in-place is that finally our kids have some control. My son doesn’t need to ask his teachers for a break anymore — he has built in breaks throughout the day. If he finishes all his work from a class, he gets to leave that class early. During his lunch break, he walks around the block for some much-needed silence and sunshine. In between classes, he can get a snack from the kitchen (so much for not eating in class!)
Like many 2e students, my kid thrives on routine. Things happened so fast when this pandemic overtook the world that all routine went out the window. A day after my son’s college counseling meeting at school we learned that all his classes were switching to online.
While every school is handling online learning differently, I love that my kid’s school is following their typical bell schedule along with lunch breaks and periods where they can meet with their counselor or teachers. Monday through Friday we still wake him up in time to start his first class at 8 a.m. While he’s in class, I’m in the kitchen putting his supplements in a dish and making his morning smoothie so he has enough protein to keep him going till lunch. Before, he’d drink the smoothie in the car on the way to school. Now, he drinks it at his desk. But we’ve still managed to keep the routine of a smoothie before school. Is he staying up too late these days? Absolutely! But, we’ve learned to be more flexible. Not all kids can thrive on less sleep than usual, so it’s up to parents to keep an eye on their kids’ grades and temperament. If they aren’t keeping up with homework, etc., then stricter sleep schedules should probably be followed.
[perfectpullquote align=”left” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Like many 2e students, my kid thrives on routine. Things happened so fast when this pandemic overtook the world that all routine went out the window.[/perfectpullquote]
Shelter-in-place orders have also impacted students’ social routines. If you haven’t allowed your students to use social media yet, now is the time to rethink it. Our kids need connection. Since they aren’t allowed to socialize with their friends in person, social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook are great ways for them to “hang out” — though always be mindful of keeping your children safe in online environments. If you haven’t opened an account with Zoom, I strongly recommend you do. A free version allows for 40-minute gatherings, though Zoom has waived that limit for students at many K-12 schools. Otherwise, a $100 annual subscription allows for unlimited guests and meeting times. A few weeks ago, one of my son’s friends turned 18. His mother reached out to me to ask my son to invite as many friends as possible to an early evening Zoom gathering so they could all sing happy birthday — nearly 100 people attended this virtual birthday party.
Routines to support our 2e students’ mental health also need to be sustained. If your child is in therapy, make sure to keep up with their weekly or bimonthly appointments. Insurance now covers telemedicine and most therapists are doing virtual sessions. As parents, it’s equally important to seek outside help if necessary because we are obviously dealing with our own fears and anxieties.
If your kids are going out in public remind them about social distancing, but be mindful to not to stoke fear or anxiety. Limit how much you watch the news. Although I have a history of depression and anxiety, I can’t avoid the news entirely as a small business owner, so I stick to the headlines, press conferences, and town halls sparingly. You know your child better than anyone so it’s up to you to gauge how much exposure you want your children to have.
Juniors and seniors are having an especially difficult time. Seniors are missing proms, graduations, and senior trips. Juniors are stressing out about missing college tours, and college entrance exams being canceled. There are great webinars that address how colleges are going to assess the next round of applicants.
There are also certain therapeutic techniques for managing anxiety that you can explore for yourself and your children, such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). Traditionally, a therapist or practitioner will guide both these processes for the patient or client, but they can also be done at home.
[perfectpullquote align=”right” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Shelter-in-place orders have also impacted students’ social routines. If you haven’t allowed your students to use social media yet, now is the time to rethink it. Our kids need connection.[/perfectpullquote]
Part of the EMDR process is to learn techniques for easing anxiety that you can do outside of sessions. For instance, “the hug method.” Bring up the palm of each hand and cross them over the chest onto the forearm of the opposing arm. Close your eyes and become aware of your breathing. Gently tap the left, then right hands. When your mind drifts, bring it back to the tapping. Another technique is to sit down and lay each of your hands, palms down, on your legs. Close your eyes, focus on your breathing and tap your legs with your hands. This creates a bilateral stimulation. EMDR is a very safe technique for processing trauma and, let’s face it, we’re all traumatized these days. There may be times when difficult memories come to the surface, but using the above techniques can help process these memories to better understand them. You can always stop when you or your child feels better.
EFT uses the energy meridians from traditional acupressure combined with breathing and a mantra. Personally, I’ve found that tapping even without a mantra is highly effective. You or your child (you can even tap on them if they’re having an anxiety or panic attack) can simply tap the acupressure points with your fingertips while you breathe deeply and repeat a verbal message. Over time, the tapping becomes associated with the feeling of calm from the conscious breathing and it helps trigger the shift to a more relaxed state. Like any mindful practice, EFT becomes more effective in calming yourself or your child the more you use it. There has been research showing that EFT is effective at calming the nervous system. Here’s how tapping works: Firmly but gently tap either side of the body as outlined below using the fingertips of either hand. Tap long enough so you can take three complete breaths in and out.
Karate chop area — outside edge of hand, below little finger
Eyebrow — either eyebrow, tap on end near bridge of nose
Under the eye — about one inch below either eye on bone
Under the nose — above upper lip
Chin — below lower lip, crease where chin starts
Beginning of collar bone — end of either side of clavicle below the throat
Four inches under armpit — side on rib cage
Side of little finger — side near ring finger at base of nail
Inside of wrist — pulse point area
Crown of head — highest point on your scalp
Don’t worry about being exact. Tapping the general areas will get the job done. There are plenty of YouTube videos you can watch to just tap along. Search for EFT that treats anxiety or fear. There are many new videos specifically geared toward the fear and anxiety about the current pandemic (one such example is below).
Above all, keep hugging your kids. This is the time when both physical and verbal connection is of utmost importance.
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Living with a twice-exceptional child is challenging enough during “normal” times, but those of us who’ve been blessed with these kids already know there’s no such thing as normal — and who would want that, anyway? Recent school closures have presented yet another challenge to normalcy and, like many others, my family is navigating the ups and downs of attending school from home.
Some of the things our kids have in common are sensory issues such as sensitivity to sounds, lights, foods, and textures. Issues like anxiety, depression, and attentional issues are also common. Factors like these can be linked to an environment, and for most of their lives, when they aren’t at home, it’s difficult for them to control their environment.
One of the silver linings of having to do school from home during shelter-in-place is that finally our kids have some control. My son doesn’t need to ask his teachers for a break anymore — he has built in breaks throughout the day. If he finishes all his work from a class, he gets to leave that class early. During his lunch break, he walks around the block for some much-needed silence and sunshine. In between classes, he can get a snack from the kitchen (so much for not eating in class!)
Like many 2e students, my kid thrives on routine. Things happened so fast when this pandemic overtook the world that all routine went out the window. A day after my son’s college counseling meeting at school we learned that all his classes were switching to online.
While every school is handling online learning differently, I love that my kid’s school is following their typical bell schedule along with lunch breaks and periods where they can meet with their counselor or teachers. Monday through Friday we still wake him up in time to start his first class at 8 a.m. While he’s in class, I’m in the kitchen putting his supplements in a dish and making his morning smoothie so he has enough protein to keep him going till lunch. Before, he’d drink the smoothie in the car on the way to school. Now, he drinks it at his desk. But we’ve still managed to keep the routine of a smoothie before school. Is he staying up too late these days? Absolutely! But, we’ve learned to be more flexible. Not all kids can thrive on less sleep than usual, so it’s up to parents to keep an eye on their kids’ grades and temperament. If they aren’t keeping up with homework, etc., then stricter sleep schedules should probably be followed.
[perfectpullquote align=”left” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Like many 2e students, my kid thrives on routine. Things happened so fast when this pandemic overtook the world that all routine went out the window.[/perfectpullquote]
Shelter-in-place orders have also impacted students’ social routines. If you haven’t allowed your students to use social media yet, now is the time to rethink it. Our kids need connection. Since they aren’t allowed to socialize with their friends in person, social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook are great ways for them to “hang out” — though always be mindful of keeping your children safe in online environments. If you haven’t opened an account with Zoom, I strongly recommend you do. A free version allows for 40-minute gatherings, though Zoom has waived that limit for students at many K-12 schools. Otherwise, a $100 annual subscription allows for unlimited guests and meeting times. A few weeks ago, one of my son’s friends turned 18. His mother reached out to me to ask my son to invite as many friends as possible to an early evening Zoom gathering so they could all sing happy birthday — nearly 100 people attended this virtual birthday party.
Routines to support our 2e students’ mental health also need to be sustained. If your child is in therapy, make sure to keep up with their weekly or bimonthly appointments. Insurance now covers telemedicine and most therapists are doing virtual sessions. As parents, it’s equally important to seek outside help if necessary because we are obviously dealing with our own fears and anxieties.
If your kids are going out in public remind them about social distancing, but be mindful to not to stoke fear or anxiety. Limit how much you watch the news. Although I have a history of depression and anxiety, I can’t avoid the news entirely as a small business owner, so I stick to the headlines, press conferences, and town halls sparingly. You know your child better than anyone so it’s up to you to gauge how much exposure you want your children to have.
Juniors and seniors are having an especially difficult time. Seniors are missing proms, graduations, and senior trips. Juniors are stressing out about missing college tours, and college entrance exams being canceled. There are great webinars that address how colleges are going to assess the next round of applicants.
There are also certain therapeutic techniques for managing anxiety that you can explore for yourself and your children, such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). Traditionally, a therapist or practitioner will guide both these processes for the patient or client, but they can also be done at home.
[perfectpullquote align=”right” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Shelter-in-place orders have also impacted students’ social routines. If you haven’t allowed your students to use social media yet, now is the time to rethink it. Our kids need connection.[/perfectpullquote]
Part of the EMDR process is to learn techniques for easing anxiety that you can do outside of sessions. For instance, “the hug method.” Bring up the palm of each hand and cross them over the chest onto the forearm of the opposing arm. Close your eyes and become aware of your breathing. Gently tap the left, then right hands. When your mind drifts, bring it back to the tapping. Another technique is to sit down and lay each of your hands, palms down, on your legs. Close your eyes, focus on your breathing and tap your legs with your hands. This creates a bilateral stimulation. EMDR is a very safe technique for processing trauma and, let’s face it, we’re all traumatized these days. There may be times when difficult memories come to the surface, but using the above techniques can help process these memories to better understand them. You can always stop when you or your child feels better.
EFT uses the energy meridians from traditional acupressure combined with breathing and a mantra. Personally, I’ve found that tapping even without a mantra is highly effective. You or your child (you can even tap on them if they’re having an anxiety or panic attack) can simply tap the acupressure points with your fingertips while you breathe deeply and repeat a verbal message. Over time, the tapping becomes associated with the feeling of calm from the conscious breathing and it helps trigger the shift to a more relaxed state. Like any mindful practice, EFT becomes more effective in calming yourself or your child the more you use it. There has been research showing that EFT is effective at calming the nervous system. Here’s how tapping works: Firmly but gently tap either side of the body as outlined below using the fingertips of either hand. Tap long enough so you can take three complete breaths in and out.
