Even before the pandemic, raising complex kids was complex. Now with home and school boundaries blurred and daily stressors magnified, readers will eagerly turn the pages of Elaine Taylor-Klaus’
The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety, and More and collect much-needed strategies to attain confidence and calm while raising their complex kids. As a mom of three and a savvy coach, Taylor-Klaus strives to ensure that parents and professionals are able to benefit from her ideas and methods so they don’t feel isolated when facing parenting hurdles.
She writes that most parents weather occasional storms: “That’s life, after all. But with complex children — kids who struggle with life or learning — it can feel like we are living in a constant state of high alert, with a hurricane threatening to move in at any moment” (Taylor-Klaus, p. 17).
Ed Hallowell, M.D., author of
The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, writes in the forward that this book is “chock full of practical ideas and solutions, teeming with hard-earned nuggets of wisdom, always a friend to the reader but never a lecturer or preacher, this book will live on for many years to come, helping all who read it and sparing those who do (as well as those they love and care for) the unnecessary suffering that lack of understanding, knowledge, and skills always inflict” (Taylor-Klaus, p. 7).
Taylor-Klaus understands the moments of chaos, self-doubt, and despair that parents inevitably experience while raising complex kids. She references her own life to clarify relatable moments in daily life. She writes, “Many parents have never had a chance to tell their story, or they feel like no one in their lives wants to listen” (Taylor-Klaus, p.9). Yet, despite parenting issues, parents are invested in wanting the best for their complex child. Parents simultaneously manage the short-term goal of getting through the day while attaining the long-term goal of ensuring that their child will eventually lead an independent life.
The book is designed in three parts with the same sections in each chapter. Chapters 1–4 cover key parenting roles aimed at managing chronic medical conditions. Chapters 5–10 explain how to use those steps in real life. Chapters 11–12 provide a guide to taking action and evaluating progress.
Each chapter starts with the telling of a familiar story: Emotional management. Escaping the stress cycle. Perfectionism. Sound familiar? Taylor-Klaus reframes the problem from a coaching perspective with the intention of creating lasting change. Outcomes are attainable, and she concludes with recommended strategies that can be immediately implemented.
The author recognizes that “language is a powerful tool for effective communication. It can also be used (or perceived) as a weapon of destruction. Sometimes the difference between the two is a thin line” (Taylor Klaus, p. 14). As such, she suggests how things might be said so that the recipient might be able to truly hear it. Questions for self-discovery are included so the reader is able to reflect on hopes and aspirations. It’s as if each chapter, as a breath of fresh air, is a reminder that readers are not alone in questioning how to parent a complex child. Support can be reinforced each time the reader picks up the relevant chapter.
Parents and professionals who read this book will be better able to decide what is important and gather information to set a plan. How
should parents say no to defensiveness or say yes to redefining success? Taylor-Klaus reminds parents that once the plan is set, be prepared to modify the plan, then try again, while taking care of ourselves in the process. No nonsense, yet empathetic, this book is worth more than its face value. It provides peace of mind in reminding the reader that while not easy, parenting a complex child can be gracefully done.
