A 2e Adult Guidebook

Melanie Hayes addresses the long-term implications of living as a twice-exceptional adult and more specifically as a gifted adult who is also autistic, a group she labels “2eA,” in her new book, Being Twice Exceptional. The book is divided into two parts. The first part includes her story, describing her life growing up as a 2e individual, as a professional working with this population, and as a mother of 2e children. The second part widens the lens. Part one also includes a comprehensive list of characteristics a 2eA individual might exhibit or recognize in themselves. The emphasis on gifted attributes and strengths is an important aspect of this checklist and a continuing theme throughout the book. Focusing on strengths and talents, Hayes digs into the concept and the potential stigmatizing effect of labels and the problematic nature of individuals being pigeonholed or discriminated against due to the nature of labeling. Hayes began her career as a classroom teacher. Later, she realized that she had a passion for supporting and advocating for neurodiverse students. Eventually, she became an educational consultant. When her twins were born, she recognized attributes in them suggesting neurodiversity. Keeping true to her beliefs, she and her husband chose to focus on the evident strengths both children exhibited while also providing the necessary support. Unable to find a right environment for her children, she created the school Big Minds, designed to meet the “unique academic needs of twice exceptional children.” The second section of Being Twice Exceptional, “Stories,” contains profiles about 2eA individuals. The addition of relevant recommendations at the end of each chapter makes this a valuable resource for parents, educators, and 2eA individuals. The stories in each chapter are organized by major life events. Using stories to convey understanding of a topic is not new, but Hayes’s ability to intertwine important life events creates a realistic and compelling picture of each individual. The stages of life addressed include college, work, home-keeping, personal care, having fun, dating and sex, partnerships, and getting older or “when life gets even harder.” The hardships and the difficulties neurodivergent people face when living in a world not designed with their unique needs in mind can be frustrating, but this only makes their struggles and triumphs more relevant. Hayes brings these individuals to life, allowing the reader to better empathize and understand, hopefully leading to insight and to change. Each chapter provides practical information—including specific recommendations for books, programs, websites, and relevant research. As much as I enjoyed the storytelling nature of the book, I found myself looking forward to the advice and problem-solving tips at the end of the chapters. Hayes speaks directly to the 2eA reader and to families and supporting stakeholders in the 2eA individual’s life. Being Twice Exceptional is a comprehensive resource book offering practical strategies in a compassionate and thoughtful presentation. The recommendations are current and relevant. Hayes’s personal experience and professional work provide a solid foundation to offer this advice and guidance in accessible language. She states that this book “is a form of activism, a small contribution towards building a more egalitarian life.” The book offers a celebration of the unique gifts 2eA individuals bring to the world. An excerpt from Being Twice Exceptional:

“I find that so many fellow professionals are often too willing to find evidence of mental disorder in the normal lives and behaviors of neurodivergent people. They sometimes overlook the impact of living at the levels of creative, emotional, sensory, and intellectual intensity that most of us experience. Few practitioners receive training in identifying and supporting the complex needs of our community. Too often we are prescribed medications or therapies that take no account of our higher levels of awareness, sensitivity, and internal processes. We need to work with professionals who genuinely value our experiences and self-knowledge and strive to develop cultural competency for working with neurodivergent people.”

Look for an exclusive interview with Melanie Hayes in an upcoming edition of 2e News. __________________________________________________________________ Paula Majeau is a certified teacher with a Master’s in Special Education. Before her career in education in Louisiana, she served in the Army as a helicopter maintenance test pilot.